


Billie Eillish - Songfics

by WoundedWriter



Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Don't Judge Me, Heartbreak, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mental Breakdown, My First AO3 Post, Not Beta Read, Partying, References to Depression, Self-Acceptance, Self-Discovery, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Indulgent, Self-Insert, Slow To Update, Songfic, These are all really short I'm sorry, Twisted love, Working Out My Feelings Through Fic, billie eilish - Freeform, mentions hostages, mentions kidnapping, not light-hearted
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-08-24 13:43:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16641264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WoundedWriter/pseuds/WoundedWriter
Summary: Just a bunch of songfics. Current collection has the following:Party FavoridontwannabeyouanymoreWhen the party's overMy boyHostageWorks in progress right now:BellyacheFeel Free to send suggestions for songs and general ideas to my inbox or in the comments. Please send the song and artist - you may also send one or two lines of the song that you for sure want in the short fic. All songs welcome, and if I can't come up with something, I will tell you. Thanks and Enjoy!!





	1. Party Favor

**Author's Note:**

> So these may very in length and will be posted randomly.

Pacing back and forth  
I don’t know what to do.  
“Hey, leave a message.”  
Panic sets in.  
“We really need to talk..”  
Thoughts race, flooding my mind,  
“Wait you know what…?”  
Say it. Say it just say it.  
“Maybe just forget it..”  
You know you don’t want to hear his voice again.  
“By the time you get this, your number may be blocked.”  
Tears in my eyes.  
Knives in my heart,  
I have to do this.  
“And I hate to do this to you on your birthday,”  
Maybe I shouldn’t…  
“Happy birthday by the way!”  
Spit it out. No more dodging.  
“I’m not your party favor.”  
Relief. Now for the explanation.  
“Now I know we could have done it better.”  
Deep breath, a sigh, keep going.  
“You’ll single out the wrong words.”  
Finish it. End the voicemail. End it all.  
“Its not you its me and all that other bullshit..”  
But…?  
“You know thats bullshit, don’t you babe?”  
Grand Finale  
“I’m not your party favor.”  
“Your voicemail has been cut off due to time restraints. Press 1 to hear voicemail, press 2 to try again, press 3 to send voicemail, press 4 to repeat options. Press end call to send message and end call.”


	2. When the party's over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on When the Party's over - Billie Eilish

“Don’t you know I’m no good for you?”  
Trashed apartment,  
Ripped up couches and food on the ceiling.  
“Tore my shirt to stop your bleeding…”  
You walked out the front door without looking back…  
“But nothing ever stops your leaving..”  
My phone lays in my hand, as I lay on a motel bed.  
“Quiet when I’m coming home”  
Keys jingle, drop into a shabby plastic bowl on the counter.  
The smell of rotting food wafts through.  
“I’m on my own…”  
Fake a smile as I wade through garbage to my room.  
“I could lie, say I like it like that…”  
I said I would call…  
“I’ll call you when the party’s over.”  
I never did.  
“Nothing is better, sometimes,”  
My phone hasn’t rung, hasn’t lit up.  
Nobody misses me.  
“Once we’ve both said our goodbyes”  
I could disappear and nobody would notice.  
“Lets just let it go.”  
There are still pictures of us on the wall, undisturbed.  
I take them down.  
“Let me let you go…”  
I’m still alone, as I clean the mess.  
My hands are raw, lip bitten till it bleeds.  
“I’m on my own..”  
A shower, well deserved,  
Candles lit,  
A shell of a person once loved by many existing in a meager apartment.  
“I could lie, say I like it like that.”  
Loved by nobody.  
Alone.  
“I could lie, say I like it like that.”  
Finally I succumb to sleep.  
“Like it like that….”

 


	3. My Boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on the song My Boy - Billie Eilish

“My boy’s being sus..”  
Calls sent straight to voicemail.  
_‘Sorry I didn’t see your text till now.’_  
“He was shady enough… Now he’s just a shadow.”  
He says he’s with his friends,  
A new one in a new place every day.  
Never the same friend twice.  
“He ain’t a man..”  
Dodges questions and avoids being tracked,  
“And sure as hell ain’t honest.”  
Pretty boy don’t know how to be tough.  
“He just sounds like he’s tryna be his father.”  
His father doesn’t like me.  
Guess my boy don’t either.  
“He don’t love me like he promised.”  
When it almost ended, he sobbed and grabbed me, like it would help his case  
“My boy’s an ugly crier,”  
Whispered pretty words in my ear,  
“But he’s such a pretty liar.”  
“He said he’d change.”  
Sick and tired,  
Fed up and wired,  
“You want me to be yours,”  
A ring on my finger, a promise,  
“Well then you gotta be mine,”  
Never wears the matching ring to mine,  
“And if you want a good girl,  
Then Good Bye.”  
He ain’t my boy anymore.


	4. Idontwannabeyouanymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on the Song Idontwannabeyouanymore - Billie Eilish

Staring into the mirror, he sees what he hates, what they love.  
“Show, never tell.”  
Boobs, perky and small, held by a lace bra.  
Long hair, waving and drifting down slim, broad shoulders.  
Cheek bones, not well defined save the blush that lay over pale skin.  
Green eyes, masked with hidden lies, shadowed by darkly lined lashes and black mascara.  
Deep browns worked into the crease of those eyes, shimmering golden pink on lids.  
Sweet pinky nude lipstick, covered by a too shiny gloss that smells overwhelmingly of strawberry.  
Told, “a tight dress is what makes you a whore.”  
A dress, accenting every curve, hiding nothing, with colorful flowers and sparkles.  
Shoes that kill, but make legs look “Killer”, their heels click and arch feet painfully.  
Clean shaven skin, legs, arms, underarms.  
Eyebrows painfully plucked, only to be filled right back in.  
He can’t stand what he sees.  
He stares at the reflection in the mirror, but it’s not him.  
“But I know you too well.”  
It’s not what he should look like.  
“Losing feelings getting old”  
It’s the opposite.  
“Was I made from a broken mold?”  
It hurts.  
“I dont wanna be you anymore”  
Something snaps.  
“If I love you, was a promise,”  
The shoes go first, straps ripped and then thrown across the room.  
The dress comes next, no bother with unzipping it. It is ripped off, thrown to the floor in a crumpled pile.  
Next, the lace bra and thong, instead a pair of boxers and the binder he’s never worn replace them.  
“Would you break it, if you’re honest?”  
Then the makeup, streaked off, smeared by remover until it is completely gone.  
The only thing left, is the hair. It goes in clumps, hitting the marble sink. It falls and falls, until finally he is satisfied. It is short, messy but charming in its own way. Then comes to electric shaver. The shorter side becomes even shorter, not gone, but left within an inch of its life.  
He undresses, showers, hair still falling from the now clean head, neck and body. It covers the drain, he doesn’t care.  
“We’ve made every mistake”  
He towels off, the boxers and binder go back on.  
“Only you know the way I break.”  
Faces the mirror for the first time since the change.  
He still sees her.  
“I don’t wanna be you…”  
Sees himself,  
A smile,  
“anymore…”


	5. Hostage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on the song Hostage - Billie Eilish

“Its not like me to be so mean…  
You’re all i wanted…”  
So close, so far…  
Drifting in and out of my heart…  
I want you…  
“I don’t know what to do…”

You should be mine.  
Not his.  
“I want to steal your soul”  
I want every piece of you.  
I want to hide you away from the world.  
“I wanna be alone, alone with you, does that make sense?”  
You look so pretty when you sleep.  
“Nothing hurts when I’m alone…”  
I can do this now.  
“This feels right so stay a sec…”  
You won’t fight me.  
You trust me.  
“You feel right...so stay a sec…”  
You let me carry you outside…  
“Fingertips against my cheek…”  
Carry you to a place where nobody will find us…  
“Gold leaf across your lips…  
Kiss me until I can’t speak..”  
On the bed, you lay, curled up oh so sweetly…  
“I’ll build a wall, give you a ball and chain…”  
I’m so happy that you’re here.  
“you’re with me and we’re alone.”  
I lay beside you.  
You dont mind.  
I pull you close, you curl into me.  
You don’t hide from my touch,  
Don’t shy away like you do with him.  
Let me love you...  
“Just let me hold you…  
Like a hostage…”


End file.
